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  1587 days
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  225 followers
4 Esther B
02 Nov 2018 ·
Found a diary of myself when I was 15 / 16. Already asking myself the question how I could end my life. It's sad to see that I've been depressed / ***al for more than half of my life.
Jenny D
02 Nov 2018 ·

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John T
02 Nov 2018 ·

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Natalie C
02 Nov 2018 ·

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Natalie C
02 Nov 2018 ·

Sending you big hugs Esther xx

Penelope P
03 Nov 2018 ·

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Xavier M
03 Nov 2018 ·

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Robert H
03 Nov 2018 ·

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DesBear D
03 Nov 2018 ·

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Tuxi A
05 Nov 2018 ·

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4 Esther B
01 Nov 2018 ·
Very anxious and feeling weird. Like if I'm dreaming constantly.
Lydia R
01 Nov 2018 ·

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Jeff M
01 Nov 2018 ·

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Jeff M
01 Nov 2018 ·

Sometimes I feel that way - like I know something's wrong but don't know what it is - when I'm fighting a cold or something. Almost prefer being sick to getting sick! Hope this feeling goes away for you quickly!

Kym S
01 Nov 2018 ·

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Kym S
01 Nov 2018 ·

I feel 'dreamlike' too when I'm stressed, due to disassociation. Hope you feel better soon

Cindy M
01 Nov 2018 ·

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DesBear D
01 Nov 2018 ·

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Robert H
02 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
02 Nov 2018 ·

I was stressed too Kim so maybe that was it.. I'm tired Jeff so maybe that's an influence.. x

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6 Esther B
31 Oct 2018 ·
Passed exam
Alaina T
31 Oct 2018 · NEW

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DesBear D
31 Oct 2018 ·

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Cindy M
31 Oct 2018 ·

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Cindy M
31 Oct 2018 ·

Congratulations! So happy for you

Robert H
01 Nov 2018 ·

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Robert H
01 Nov 2018 ·

Congrats!

Tuxi A
01 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tuxi A
01 Nov 2018 ·

Congrats! :)

Esther B
02 Nov 2018 ·

Thanks all! Really happy about it :)

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4 Esther B
30 Oct 2018 ·
Not allowed to run for another MONTH. I haven't been running for 2 weeks now and it feels like forever. Only allowed pilates and some cycling in a week or 2. Body is failing. Hate myself
Ikra S
30 Oct 2018 ·

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Lydia R
30 Oct 2018 ·

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Penelope P
30 Oct 2018 ·

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Naomi T
30 Oct 2018 · NEW

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Manda P
30 Oct 2018 ·

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Manda P
30 Oct 2018 ·

Don't hate yourself, little one! ❀️ Your body is not failing, just hit a bump. You'll recover & be back to your usual self in no time if you stick with your therapy. You've got this! *big strong hugs*

Jeff M
30 Oct 2018 ·

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Jeff M
30 Oct 2018 ·

Oh that would kill me, Esther! But I've known a bunch of runners who got injured. A few took up swimming and loved it and ended up doing triathalons when able to run again. Plus, swimming or cycling is good to keep muscles up, good...

Jeff M
30 Oct 2018 ·

...cross training for running and will help you not be starting all over again! You can get through this...a month is ok. Remember to start back up slower for a few weeks.

Cindy M
30 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
30 Oct 2018 ·

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DesBear D
31 Oct 2018 ·

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Esther B
03 Nov 2018 ·

Thanks Jeff. I hate swimming but maybe that's a good thing to do. Not allowed to cycle yet. In another week I can try. Hugs

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6 Esther B
27 Oct 2018 ·
Okay day. Pilates, lunch with friends and reading 'the handmaids tale'.
Lydia R
27 Oct 2018 ·

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Manda P
27 Oct 2018 ·

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Manda P
27 Oct 2018 ·

Ohh! Good book. Enjoy! Well done in the exercise & socialization. xx

Maite P
27 Oct 2018 ·

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nixiblu .
27 Oct 2018 ·

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Silke V
27 Oct 2018 ·

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Jeff M
28 Oct 2018 ·

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Margot L
30 Oct 2018 ·

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5 Esther B
26 Oct 2018 ·
Failed exam from work. Been eating too much. Disgusted.
Robert H
26 Oct 2018 ·

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Cindy M
26 Oct 2018 ·

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Cindy M
26 Oct 2018 ·

Can you take the exam again? I've been eating too much too - know the feeling.

Silke V
26 Oct 2018 ·

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DesBear D
27 Oct 2018 ·

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Manda P
27 Oct 2018 ·

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Manda P
27 Oct 2018 ·

Hope you are able to take it again like Cindy asked. What happens when you fail? Do beat yourself up for eating too much. It's easy to do when things aren't going well. You'll get back on track. xx

Jeff M
27 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
27 Oct 2018 ·

I've been eating too much too...and drinking too much. Ugh. I feel for you, Esther!

nixiblu .
27 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
27 Oct 2018 ·

πŸ™‹ same

Esther B
28 Oct 2018 ·

I can and must Cindy and Manda. I have to pass before April 1st but because I'm going into clinical therapy from December till April I must pass for December. Pressure is on!

Esther B
28 Oct 2018 ·

Hugs for Jeff and Nixi. I just binge chocolate at the moment

Manda P
28 Oct 2018 ·

Best of luck on the next test, Esther. I'm sure you'll get it this time! I think I'm going to eat some dark chocolate covered dried cherries as soon as they leave for church. It'll count as my breakfast. No big deal. 😊

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3 Esther B
24 Oct 2018 ·
Exam tomorrow and nervous I won't pass. Somebody told me about moving in together and mood drops down like that. I will never live together or have a relationshop and that makes me sad
Jeff M
24 Oct 2018 ·

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me M
24 Oct 2018 ·

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Maria K
24 Oct 2018 ·

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Natalie C
24 Oct 2018 ·

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Margot L
24 Oct 2018 ·

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Cindy M
25 Oct 2018 ·

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Cindy M
25 Oct 2018 ·

Hope exam went well xx

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5 Esther B
22 Oct 2018 ·
Day at the spa. It was nice but my skin is itchy and dry now. Happens every time after swimming. Too bad.
Natalie C
22 Oct 2018 ·

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Max T
22 Oct 2018 ·

Have you tried moisturising after swimming? My skin always gets dry after swimming in chlorine water and it always helps me.

Esther B
22 Oct 2018 ·

I use a lot of moisturizer Max! I have two on doctor's prescript actually. Thanks for suggesting though :)

nixiblu .
22 Oct 2018 ·

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Maite P
22 Oct 2018 ·

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Missy C
22 Oct 2018 ·

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Jeff M
23 Oct 2018 ·

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Jeff M
23 Oct 2018 ·

Glad you got to relax at the spa and get some swimming in! I wish I could take up swimming...supposed to be so good for you. But I barely have time for running let alone another physical activity, and the gym with a pool is not nearby.

Manda P
24 Oct 2018 ·

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Manda P
24 Oct 2018 ·

That sounds relaxing. I'm glad you got to do that but it's too bad your skin ended up itchy. I just learned today that I can't go swimming on my new med but that doesn't really matter because I can't swim! 😜

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3 Esther B
21 Oct 2018 ·
Watched Amsterdam marathon. Back home feeling extra sad and lousy because I couldn't even run half the marathon. Stupid injuries. Stupid body. I hate it.
me M
21 Oct 2018 ·

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John T
21 Oct 2018 ·

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Penelope P
21 Oct 2018 ·

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Jeff M
21 Oct 2018 ·

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Maite P
21 Oct 2018 ·

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Silke V
21 Oct 2018 ·

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DesBear D
21 Oct 2018 ·

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nixiblu .
22 Oct 2018 ·

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4 Esther B
18 Oct 2018 ·
Still injured. No 21k for me this weekend. Too bad I've trained this much for nothing. Well, almost nothing..
Jeff M
18 Oct 2018 ·

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Jeff M
18 Oct 2018 ·

Aw bummer! I'm so disappointed for you! But there are others! You can get over this injury and get ready for the next one!

Maite P
18 Oct 2018 ·

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Manda P
18 Oct 2018 ·

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Manda P
18 Oct 2018 ·

Oh, no! That is terrible news. So sorry to hear that, Esther. Remember to be proud of yourself for all the training you did! And rest up! xx

Silke V
18 Oct 2018 ·

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Robert H
19 Oct 2018 ·

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Reba H
19 Oct 2018 ·

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Cindy M
19 Oct 2018 ·

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5 Esther B
14 Oct 2018 ·
weekend at friends place, beautiful nature. Pelvis still not right. Afraid that I can't race next Sunday. Will call physiotherapist tomorrow.
John T
14 Oct 2018 ·

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John T
14 Oct 2018 ·

Always more races, Esther. Enjoy the nature and your friends company, this just means you'll come back stronger and faster next time!

nixiblu .
14 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
14 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
14 Oct 2018 ·

Thanks John Cindy and Nixi. 🐼

Esther B
14 Oct 2018 ·

And I know John but I've been preparing for this one for so long..

Lydia R
14 Oct 2018 ·

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DesBear D
14 Oct 2018 ·

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Silke V
14 Oct 2018 ·

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Jeff M
15 Oct 2018 ·

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Jeff M
15 Oct 2018 ·

I have faith that you'll be able to do it, Esther! I'm 'rooting for you!

Margot L
15 Oct 2018 ·

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Reba H
19 Oct 2018 ·

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5 Esther B
11 Oct 2018 ·
Leg has been sore since 10k run. Hopefully I can still run half marathon October 21st. Feeling tired all the time, been sleeping a lot
Jeff M
11 Oct 2018 ·

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Jeff M
11 Oct 2018 ·

Do lots of good stretches...hope it will be ok for your race too! Have you run half marathons before?

John T
11 Oct 2018 ·

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John T
11 Oct 2018 ·

Wholewheat pasta, wholemeal rice, frietjes! Keep the fuel levels high! Be sensible if you're injured, there's always another day. If you heal up, think of all the miles you've put in the last 12 months, smash it!

Cindy M
11 Oct 2018 ·

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DesBear D
11 Oct 2018 ·

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Reba H
12 Oct 2018 ·

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Manda P
12 Oct 2018 ·

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Manda P
12 Oct 2018 ·

Hope your leg feels better soon. xx

Esther B
13 Oct 2018 ·

No Jeff I haven't. Have been training for 21k. Running 3 times a week now. But it wasn't my leg apparently but my pelvis!

Jeff M
13 Oct 2018 ·

Ooo, exciting, Esther! I bet you'll do great! Do a lot of stretches for those sore muscles, and you'll get there.

Lydia R
14 Oct 2018 ·

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Silke V
14 Oct 2018 ·

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7 Esther B
07 Oct 2018 ·
10K cityrun today. New PR on 5 and 10 km. Finished in 55.05
John T
07 Oct 2018 ·

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John T
07 Oct 2018 ·

Great time! You're faster than me!

DesBear D
07 Oct 2018 ·

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Cindy M
07 Oct 2018 ·

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Cindy M
07 Oct 2018 ·

Woo!

Silke V
08 Oct 2018 ·

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Robert H
09 Oct 2018 ·

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Robert H
09 Oct 2018 ·

Great!

Jeff M
09 Oct 2018 ·

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Jeff M
09 Oct 2018 ·

Wow, way to go! :) That's awesome!!

Reba H
10 Oct 2018 ·

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Margot L
10 Oct 2018 ·

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Lydia R
14 Oct 2018 ·

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Silke V
14 Oct 2018 ·

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4 Esther B
02 Oct 2018 ·
Headache
Xavier M
02 Oct 2018 ·

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John T
04 Oct 2018 ·

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Margot L
05 Oct 2018 ·

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Silke V
05 Oct 2018 ·

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Lydia R
14 Oct 2018 ·

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6 Esther B
30 Sep 2018 ·
90 min run. First time ever! πŸ˜„
nixiblu .
30 Sep 2018 ·

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nixiblu .
30 Sep 2018 ·

Wow. Go girl

Robert H
30 Sep 2018 ·

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Manda P
30 Sep 2018 ·

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Manda P
30 Sep 2018 ·

WHOA!! Way to go, Esther! That's incredible! xx

Jeff M
01 Oct 2018 ·

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Jeff M
01 Oct 2018 ·

Great job! Happy to see you feeling good from a good run! I love that feeling after a good run... Keep it up!

Tuxi A
01 Oct 2018 ·

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Tuxi A
01 Oct 2018 ·

Wow! I'd be dead after 10 minutes... ^^

Xavier M
02 Oct 2018 ·

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Silke V
05 Oct 2018 ·

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Lydia R
14 Oct 2018 ·

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3 Esther B
29 Sep 2018 ·
Had a beer all by myself. Shameful. Not good with men. End up all alone
Robert H
29 Sep 2018 ·

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Keeping Track A
29 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
30 Sep 2018 ·

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John W
30 Sep 2018 ·

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Jeff M
30 Sep 2018 ·

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Jeff M
30 Sep 2018 ·

Aw, Esther, I'm sure you won't end up alone. :(

John T
30 Sep 2018 ·

πŸ•΅πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ’·πŸ§”πŸ» Here you go barman, 2 pints please. πŸ§”πŸ»πŸΊπŸΊπŸ•΅πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I've got a round in Esther. Cheers! πŸ•΅πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ»πŸ‘©πŸ». I've got to go to the opticians, using this magnifying glass is no substitute for glasses. Oh look, a cat 🐈. Keep trying Esther.

John T
30 Sep 2018 ·

You'll get there.

Manda P
30 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
01 Oct 2018 ·

Haha John you've made me laugh :)

Xavier M
02 Oct 2018 ·

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Lydia R
14 Oct 2018 ·

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5 Esther B
28 Sep 2018 ·
Pretty tired after 5 days of work and meeting friends and colleagues. At least time passes quickly. Watching Ozark.
Zoe D
28 Sep 2018 ·

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Emily C
28 Sep 2018 · NEW

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Jeff M
28 Sep 2018 ·

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Jeff M
28 Sep 2018 ·

I'm watching Ozark too! Season 2 is sooooo slow and dark. I loved Season 1, but this one, I feel like I'm struggling through it.

Silke V
29 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
29 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
29 Sep 2018 ·

BF is dying for me to watch it with him. I'm not sure a dark show is good for me right now.

Esther B
01 Oct 2018 ·

I've been falling asleep too Jeff. I just can't seem to focus on season 2. And Amanda I don't think it's dark in that kind of way. Its about money laundering.

Manda P
01 Oct 2018 ·

Oh, ok, good then. Maybe I'll give it a shot soon. It'd make BF happy & maybe I'd actually enjoy it.

Xavier M
02 Oct 2018 ·

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Lydia R
14 Oct 2018 ·

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5 Esther B
23 Sep 2018 ·
Yesterday was a good day. Gym, friend, wine tasting and dinner at restaurant. I was tipsy after only 6 sips of wine 🀣. Feeling hungover.
Manda P
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
23 Sep 2018 ·

Wow! Just a few sips is great! I wish I could feel that. Glad you had such a good day. Hope today is even better! 😊

Penelope P
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
23 Sep 2018 ·

Thanks Manda and Pen! πŸΌπŸ’•

Anna D
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
23 Sep 2018 ·

Woo 5!

Tuxi A
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
24 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
24 Sep 2018 ·

Glad you had a good day! It's so nice to be able to recognize those nice days and remember them when things get hard again. And wow, just a few sips! Ha...cheap date! :)

Silke V
24 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
24 Sep 2018 ·

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Robert H
25 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
28 Sep 2018 ·

I am Jeff! Fancy a date? πŸ˜‹

Jeff M
28 Sep 2018 ·

Ha! Sure, I'll be right over. If I leave now and run there...wait, I'd have to swim. Bummer! ;)

Manda P
28 Sep 2018 ·

Jeff! πŸ˜‚

Esther B
01 Oct 2018 ·

Haha thats a pity John.i hate swimming

Lydia R
14 Oct 2018 ·

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5 Esther B
21 Sep 2018 ·
Bit nervous provably from too much coffee. I just can't stop drinking it. Had a nice conversation with spiritual caregiver (the masters degree i have myself). Need to stop ignoring emotions.
Penelope P
21 Sep 2018 ·

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Zoe D
21 Sep 2018 ·

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Anna D
21 Sep 2018 ·

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Bipolar Bear .
21 Sep 2018 ·

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DesBear D
21 Sep 2018 ·

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paul M
21 Sep 2018 ·

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Cindy M
22 Sep 2018 ·

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Robert H
22 Sep 2018 ·

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Reba H
23 Sep 2018 ·

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Manda P
23 Sep 2018 ·

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Tuxi A
23 Sep 2018 ·

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Lydia R
14 Oct 2018 ·

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4 Esther B
19 Sep 2018 ·
Cancelled football. Didn't feel well. Anxious to be surrounded by 50.000 men. Bad sign that I cancel the thing that I love most. Body feels tired though. Cancelled run as well.
Lucy S
19 Sep 2018 · NEW

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Tuxi A
19 Sep 2018 ·

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Silke V
19 Sep 2018 ·

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Silke V
19 Sep 2018 ·

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day!

Xavier M
19 Sep 2018 ·

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Cindy M
19 Sep 2018 ·

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Margot L
19 Sep 2018 ·

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DesBear D
20 Sep 2018 ·

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John T
20 Sep 2018 ·

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John T
20 Sep 2018 ·

Maybe go to an lower league/semi pro/amateur match. Something about being stood out in the rain with a pint watching terrible players that is really soul stirring!

Jeff M
20 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
20 Sep 2018 ·

Sometimes you have to listen to your body and rest, and that's ok. Sometimes you have to tell your body to suck it up and get out and do things to recharge your mind/soul. Hard to tell when, though.

Esther B
20 Sep 2018 ·

I can imagine John! Too bad I didn't go. It was a champions league game :(

John T
20 Sep 2018 ·

The 3 - 0 win?? Yep... Definitely curse of hindsight! Don't blame yourself, just enjoy the 3 points.

Manda P
20 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
20 Sep 2018 ·

It's good to take those breaks when you know you need them. Well done, Esther! xx

Esther B
20 Sep 2018 ·

Yes John! I'm happy indeed. I will go to the next 2 games so will be fine :-)

Esther B
20 Sep 2018 ·

Thanks Manda xo

Lydia R
14 Oct 2018 ·

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