5.1 avg
  1612 days
  20782 hugs
  228 followers
4 Esther B
1d ·
Supposed evaluate my new meds but psychiatrist is sick. Still. She was sick last week as well. Now I have to wait another week and I feel like ****
Jeff M
1d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
1d ·

Ugh, that stinks. Is there someone else you can work with?

John T
1d ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
1d ·

Not really Jeff. But told therapists about how I feel.

Jeff M
1d ·

Nothing worse than not being able to get the help you need... I hope you have someone you're able to work with at least to help get through the next week. *Big hugs*

nixiblu .
1d ·

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Anonmous A
1d ·

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Anonmous A
1d ·

Hang in there. Thinking of you.

Reba H
13h ·

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3 Esther B
3d ·
Don't wanna go to sleep cause the mornings are so hard. They make me anxious and depressed.
me M
3d ·

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G J
3d · NEW

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Penelope P
3d ·

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Robert H
3d ·

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Robin R
3d ·

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nixiblu .
2d ·

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John T
2d ·

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Manda P
2d ·

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Anonmous A
2d ·

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Reba H
2d ·

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Jeff M
1d ·

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4 Esther B
4d ·
Yesterday was horrible. Almost ended in crisis. Went home with parents just to be safe. Today a little bit better.
Penelope P
4d ·

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nixiblu .
4d ·

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Reba H
4d ·

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Robert H
4d ·

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me M
3d ·

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Quinny J
4d ·

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3 Esther B
7d ·
Headache is driving me crazy. Wanna sleep. Afraid I can't make it to therapy tomorrow or do anything.
Jen B
7d ·

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Spacekitten V
7d ·

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Manda P
7d ·

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Manda P
7d ·

Hope your head is feeling better & that you may have gotten a nap in.

nixiblu .
7d ·

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Reba H
7d ·

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Aya N
7d ·

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Jeff M
7d ·

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5 Esther B
10 Jun 2019 ·
Was down but mum came over. We cycled through the city and went to cinema.
Zoe D
10 Jun 2019 ·

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Jemma B
10 Jun 2019 · NEW

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Jeff M
10 Jun 2019 ·

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Jeff M
10 Jun 2019 ·

That sounds like a good day! Glad you were able to do something fun to elevate your mood!

Gy G
10 Jun 2019 ·

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Robert H
11 Jun 2019 ·

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Reba H
11 Jun 2019 ·

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Aya N
11 Jun 2019 ·

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Manda P
11 Jun 2019 ·

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Manda P
11 Jun 2019 ·

That sounds like a great day! Glad your mood improved. xx

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4 Esther B
08 Jun 2019 ·
Feeling sick. Sweaty, headache, nauseous. Beating myself up for being in bed.
Brandt B
08 Jun 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
08 Jun 2019 ·

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Aya N
08 Jun 2019 ·

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Anna .
08 Jun 2019 ·

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May K
08 Jun 2019 · NEW

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Anna .
08 Jun 2019 ·

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John T
08 Jun 2019 ·

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Reba H
09 Jun 2019 ·

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Penelope P
09 Jun 2019 ·

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Robert H
09 Jun 2019 ·

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Jeff M
09 Jun 2019 ·

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Jeff M
09 Jun 2019 ·

It's ok to be in bed and take it easy...hope you feel better soon!

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5 Esther B
07 Jun 2019 ·
Work - errands - drinks with ppl from therapy
Penelope P
07 Jun 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jenny D
08 Jun 2019 ·

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Jimbob W
08 Jun 2019 ·

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Reba H
08 Jun 2019 ·

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John T
08 Jun 2019 ·

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nixiblu .
08 Jun 2019 ·

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Anna .
08 Jun 2019 ·

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Reba H
09 Jun 2019 ·

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7 Esther B
06 Jun 2019 ·
May 1st was my 6 year Pandaversary. I just realise that now. πŸ₯°
nixiblu .
06 Jun 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
06 Jun 2019 ·

Amazing. πŸ‘©β€πŸŽ“πŸ‘‹πŸ‘‹

Gy G
06 Jun 2019 ·

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Penelope P
06 Jun 2019 ·

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Spacekitten V
06 Jun 2019 ·

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Natalie C
06 Jun 2019 ·

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Jenny D
07 Jun 2019 ·

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Jenny D
07 Jun 2019 ·

Very nice

Reba H
07 Jun 2019 ·

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Silke V
07 Jun 2019 ·

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Jeff M
07 Jun 2019 ·

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Jeff M
07 Jun 2019 ·

Aw, happy pandaversary, Estherbear! We are so happy to have you here!

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5 Esther B
06 Jun 2019 ·
Had therapy from 9 till 4. Long day. Managed to go to pilates & bodyshape afterwards. Feeling very anxious and down. Probably withdrawal from Xanax Only took 0.5 mg a day. What a **** benzodiazepine
Tuxi A
06 Jun 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
06 Jun 2019 ·

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Jeff M
06 Jun 2019 ·

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Jeff M
06 Jun 2019 ·

Getting that exercise in helps...as hard as it is, at least you can feel good knowing you did it!

Gy G
06 Jun 2019 ·

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Melody L
06 Jun 2019 ·

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Natalie C
06 Jun 2019 ·

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Reba H
07 Jun 2019 ·

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Silke V
07 Jun 2019 ·

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5 Esther B
04 Jun 2019 ·
Therapy and tea with friend. Headache. Need to reduce and quit Xanax. Hopefully it all goes well.
nixiblu .
04 Jun 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Melody L
04 Jun 2019 ·

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Robert H
05 Jun 2019 ·

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Reba H
05 Jun 2019 ·

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Jeff M
05 Jun 2019 ·

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Silke V
05 Jun 2019 ·

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Manda P
05 Jun 2019 ·

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Manda P
05 Jun 2019 ·

Good luck getting off it. I got addicted to Klonopin & it was hard to quit. Lots of rebound anxiety. I hope yours goes much more smoothly. Just remember you'll make it out alive & will feel better not relying on it. πŸ’–

John T
05 Jun 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Anna .
05 Jun 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
06 Jun 2019 ·

That must be hard Amanda! I've been having a lot of rebound anxiety as well. Not that much fun. I only had 0.5 mg though ^^

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5 Esther B
02 Jun 2019 ·
Sunburn. Spent 1 day at a dairy farm. Helped friend with milking the cows this morning. Love to be around animals.
Zoe D
02 Jun 2019 ·

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Lydia R
02 Jun 2019 ·

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Ian D
02 Jun 2019 ·

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Brandt B
02 Jun 2019 ·

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Bipolar Bear .
02 Jun 2019 ·

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Bipolar Bear .
02 Jun 2019 ·

That's awesome! I would love to do that, I love working with animals :)

John T
03 Jun 2019 ·

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Aya N
03 Jun 2019 ·

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Jeff M
03 Jun 2019 ·

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nixiblu .
03 Jun 2019 ·

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Albertine M
03 Jun 2019 ·

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Manda P
04 Jun 2019 ·

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Manda P
04 Jun 2019 ·

That sounds really great! Something about animals make you feel comfortable. Glad you had that opportunity! ❀️

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5 Esther B
29 May 2019 ·
Had a decent day.
John T
29 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
29 May 2019 ·

🍻

Aya N
29 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
29 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
29 May 2019 ·

That's so good to see! Honestly, most days I feel like a 5 or decent ranking is the best I can hope for. It helps to remember that some days can be decent to good, too, when you're having a tough one!

Manda P
29 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Ian D
29 May 2019 ·

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Brandt B
29 May 2019 ·

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Penelope P
29 May 2019 ·

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Reba H
30 May 2019 ·

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Esther B
30 May 2019 ·

Thanks all for the hugs. And decent is the best I can get for now so I'm quite content.

Albertine M
31 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

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2 Esther B
26 May 2019 ·
Depressed and anxious. Started new antidepressant 2 weeks ago. Maybe I just need to hold on a bit longer but it's so **** hard. I just wanna sleep all day and disappear.
me M
26 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
26 May 2019 ·

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Ammar H
26 May 2019 ·

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John T
26 May 2019 ·

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Melody L
26 May 2019 ·

That 'i want to disappear' feeling is familiar...

Melody L
26 May 2019 ·

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Manda P
26 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
26 May 2019 ·

Thinking of you, Esther. I hope the new AD helps you. Just hold on for a little longer to give it time to work. xx

Natalie C
26 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
27 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
27 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
27 May 2019 ·

Hope you can hang on, certainly when I started it took at least that long to have an effect. You're in my thoughts xx

Lydia R
27 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
27 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
28 May 2019 ·

Thanks all. I've added my mail address in the Google doc! :)

Albertine M
29 May 2019 ·

Woo!

Manda P
29 May 2019 ·

Yay!!

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2 Esther B
12 May 2019 ·
Guess this was almost the worst week of my life. Never felt this depressed. Slept a lot. Barely ate. No energy. Vicious circle.
Silke V
12 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
12 May 2019 ·

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Reba H
12 May 2019 ·

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Spacekitten V
12 May 2019 ·

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Ian D
12 May 2019 ·

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Penelope P
13 May 2019 ·

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me M
13 May 2019 ·

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John T
13 May 2019 ·

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Jeff M
13 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
13 May 2019 ·

It is...the less you eat and do, the worse you feel. But it's so hard to do those things. I understand how hard it is to get out of that circle. I wish I had a way to help you, other than empathizing.

Jeff M
13 May 2019 ·

Really rooting for you, Esther. Any time you want someone to talk to, please reach out!

Jeff M
13 May 2019 ·

Email is in that pandadocs thing: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yzampFBAKcZ1MC-96LRfqts4DgEWGxnA-MjcPEiorLk/edit?usp=drivesdk

nixiblu .
13 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
13 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
13 May 2019 ·

All of us want to help, dear Esther - reach out if you want. Lots of love xx

Melody L
14 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

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2 Esther B
06 May 2019 ·
No appetite. Anxious, depressed. Can't take this feeling. Want to give up.
Reba H
06 May 2019 ·

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Aya N
06 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
06 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
06 May 2019 ·

Sending you lots of strength, Esther. I'm always thinking of you and rooting for you!

Robert H
06 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
06 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

me M
06 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Kristian J
06 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
06 May 2019 ·

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me M
06 May 2019 ·

Please don't give up, hugs

nixiblu .
06 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
06 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
06 May 2019 ·

Lots of love, Esther - please hang in there. You're in my thoughts xx

Esther B
07 May 2019 ·

Thanks all xoxo

Manda P
07 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
07 May 2019 ·

Thinking of you, Esther. Don't give up. I know you will make it through this. You've got Pandas by your side. xx

Silke V
12 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

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4 Esther B
02 May 2019 ·
Anxious to be on my own. Probably because I'm in my 'child mode', feeling unsafe like a little child without her parents around. Hard to cope with. Therapy is helping but not 24/7.
Cora K
02 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
02 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
02 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
02 May 2019 ·

I'm sure you have people to message if you need to talk. I know you are in touch with Silke and you can find me at https://instagram.com/jwtownshend I'll listen to you when you need to talk 😊

Jeff M
02 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
02 May 2019 ·

I understand that feeling. You want comfort and protection and that childlike comfort of not having to worry about anything and being able to just live. I wish there was more of that in later life...

Jeff M
02 May 2019 ·

As John said, we're here if you need to chat. I put my contact info on his google docs thing too.

John T
02 May 2019 ·

https://goo.gl/Ufb286 panda pals (don't use your main email address in case of spam etc.)

Albertine M
02 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
02 May 2019 ·

Mine is on there too Esther xx

Manda P
03 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
03 May 2019 ·

Same, Esther. We are here for you! ❀️

nixiblu .
03 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

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2 Esther B
30 Apr 2019 ·
Someone from former therapy group committed s*****. I'm feeling very low and unsafe now.
John T
30 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
30 Apr 2019 ·

People suffer but they it's also possible to feel better with some support and help. Keep going Esther. Keep going.

Esther B
30 Apr 2019 ·

I will try! Not ready to give up yet.

John T
30 Apr 2019 ·

Well done. Also, I'm sorry, it's very difficult when people are taken away like that.

Albertine M
30 Apr 2019 ·

Sorry to hear this, Esther - that's sad news and I get how it affects you too. So glad to hear you want to keep trying! Lots of love and strength xx

Jeff M
30 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
30 Apr 2019 ·

That's so sad...I'm sorry. From our perspective, we see you as so strong getting through this and keeping on. I think you're amazing, Esther, and I know you can do this. Is there someone you can talk to about how this news impacts you?

Ioanna P
01 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
01 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
01 May 2019 ·

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3 Esther B
23 Apr 2019 ·
Bad day. Anxiety high. Couldn't make it to football, afraid to travel by train. Now I'm angry at myself.
Lydia R
23 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
23 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
23 Apr 2019 ·

You don't have to do all the things, Esther. One step at a time. We're all here for you. πŸ™‚

Lolly22 T
23 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
23 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
23 Apr 2019 ·

Wise John is right. I'm sorry things are so hard. Biggest hugs and much love xx

Robert H
23 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
24 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
24 Apr 2019 ·

Yes, don't feel angry at yourself. Remember that illness is impactful, regardless of whether it's mental or physical. You wouldn't be angry if you had the flu and couldn't go. Take pride in the strength and strides you've made so far!

John T
24 Apr 2019 ·

If you knew about some of things I've done, you wouldn't be calling me 'Wise John' Albertine! :D Daft John is more accurate!

Melody L
24 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
25 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
30 Apr 2019 ·

Thanks all xoxo you're so supportive.

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4 Esther B
22 Apr 2019 ·
Some moments are okay, others aren't. Still overwhelmed by anxious and depressive thoughts. Starting therapy again April 30. Will I ever feel better?
Lolly22 T
22 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
22 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
22 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
22 Apr 2019 ·

I dearly hope so!

Jeff M
22 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
22 Apr 2019 ·

I hope so too...I'm glad you have okay moments. I hope they're enough to help you get through the really tough moments too. I'm rooting for you so hard, esther!

Albertine M
22 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
22 Apr 2019 ·

Thanks lovely friends 🐼🐼

Albertine M
22 Apr 2019 ·

Everything crossed for you,dear Esther - keeping you in my thoughts xx

John T
22 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jen B
22 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Sierra W
22 Apr 2019 · NEW

*Hugs*

Penelope P
22 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
23 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
23 Apr 2019 ·

My dear friend, Esther, You are so strong to have made it this far & I know you can keep going. Better days are always ahead. Lots of love! πŸ’—

Esther B
23 Apr 2019 ·

Thanks Amanda. Appreciate your message ❀

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4 Esther B
17 Apr 2019 ·
Clinical therapy ended last week after 18 weeks. At home now. Getting help with day structure and stuff. Feels like I'm going to collapse anytime. Maybe it's just overwhelming to be home again.
Gabrielle H
17 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
17 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
17 Apr 2019 ·

All the best for you, dear Esther. ❀️ I hope you are reunited with your cat.

Spacekitten V
17 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
17 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
17 Apr 2019 ·

I am sure you need to give yourself time to adjust and allow yourself to do it in a way that is comfortable for you. Big hugs.

nixiblu .
17 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
18 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
18 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
18 Apr 2019 ·

You can do it, Esther! Also Ajax... Wow!

Jeff M
18 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
18 Apr 2019 ·

I'm glad you're home and can get back to normalcy. That has to be a difficult transition. Be patient with yourself if you can...it will take a while, I'm sure. I really am rooting for you so hard, Esther! *Big hugs*

Reba H
18 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
18 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
19 Apr 2019 ·

Esther! So nice to see you. Take it slow & be kind to yourself. It'll take a lot of adjusting but I know you can do it. We're hear for you & cheering you on! xx❀️xx

Esther B
19 Apr 2019 ·

Thanks all. My cat is back home and I'm really happy with that! She has to adjust a bit as well. And John Ajax was amazing!!!

Jen B
19 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
20 Apr 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
20 Apr 2019 ·

Thinking of you so much - hope things get easier xx

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