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  1463 days
  19247 hugs
  216 followers
4 Esther B
1h ·
Therapy was rough again. Had this 'systeemgesprek', in which they talk to a relative or friend about me and my behaviour. Brought my best friend. She's really supportive. Happy with her. Also sad that
Esther B
1h ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
1h ·

I stillhave a long way to go. Fear that they can't help me or I'm not able to receive help nor get better. Problem with accepting my illness. No selfacceptance and lack of acknowledging my existence.

Dan P
1h ·

It may take a while - but you'll get there xx you can do it πŸ’ͺ🏻

Lydia R
1h ·

*Hugs*

Anna N
44m ·

*Hugs*

Anna N
43m ·

I'm glad you have a supportive friend to help you out!

Mark W
29m ·

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4 Esther B
1d ·
feeling empty and sad.
Lydia R
1d ·

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Lieteke G
1d · NEW

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Kelsi S
1d ·

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Jeff M
1d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
1d ·

Perhaps that's from the therapy. Maybe you're emptying out and need to be refilled. Thinking of you, Estherbear!

Love 1
1d ·

may that emptiness be filled with peace.

John T
1d ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
1d ·

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Richard E
23h ·

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Reba H
11h ·

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Tuxi A
5h ·

*Hugs*

Tuxi A
5h ·

I hope it'll get better, soon.

Shelley H
3h ·

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5 Esther B
3d ·
Feeling very tired all of a sudden. Insecure about date. He's on a trip and doesn't text me but it's the same as when he's in town so I guess I'm just overreacting. Need to stop this
Silke V
3d ·

*Hugs*

sonny S
3d ·

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Margot L
3d ·

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Jeff M
2d ·

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DesBear D
2d ·

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Reba H
2d ·

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4 Esther B
4d ·
Therapy done for this week. It was quite intense. We're a small group and we're willing to share. Next week 2 new ppl are added to our group. Interesting to observe how our group will respond.
Γ‰va H
4d ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
4d ·

It's intense cause it's moving me. Main goals are acceptance of my 'disorder / disease / whatever you want to call it' and to be willing to recieve therapy. Its hard. I just want to work and be normal.

Jeff M
4d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
4d ·

I suspect that you have to break down before you can 'repair'...get through the walls you built up, which would have to be really hard. Good for you for facing it with perspective! I'm sure you can do it, Esther!

Kym S
4d ·

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Dan P
4d ·

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Lydia R
4d ·

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Tasha S
4d ·

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Silke V
4d ·

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Cindy M
4d ·

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Cindy M
4d ·

Right on Jeff - you can do this! Proud of you already xx

Manda P
4d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4d ·

Way to go, Esther! I am so proud of you for doing this! πŸ’–πŸ’šπŸ’–

DesBear D
3d ·

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sonny S
3d ·

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Reba H
2d ·

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4 Esther B
5d ·
Feeling sad after an intense day. Negative thoughts are popping up like mushrooms. Like date doesn't wanna meet me while he said Sunday he does. But he's going away for a trip and has ppl staying over
John T
5d ·

*Hugs*

John T
5d ·

I really like your turn of phrase, 'popping up like mushrooms'! Brilliant! I'm going to start saying that! Hope you are feeling better soon though.

Jeff M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
5d ·

It is a suitable phrase, because those bad thoughts are like fungi. They grow in the dark, wet places and feed on bad things and spread like crazy. (Just ignore the fact that mushrooms can be delicious!)

Jeff M
5d ·

It's tough, especially after a bad day, but have to resist those bad thoughts so they don't grow and spread!

Γ‰va H
5d ·

*Hugs*

Marge H
5d · NEW

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Janine S
5d ·

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Lydia R
5d ·

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Reba H
5d ·

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Manda P
5d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
5d ·

Just breathe & stop those mushrooms from spreading! It'll be ok, Esther. xx

Esther B
5d ·

thanks all πŸ’ž

Richard E
5d ·

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Cindy M
5d ·

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5 Esther B
5d ·
Therapy. Touched by sadness. Drama and crisisintervention ahead. Cognitive and creative therapy done.
Dan P
5d ·

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Steph B
5d ·

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Jeff M
5d ·

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Lydia R
5d ·

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Manda P
5d ·

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Richard E
5d ·

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Cindy M
5d ·

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6 Esther B
15 Jan 2018 ·
Manager at work said i looked energetic. I think I'm doing okay. Not good yet but very okay. Got a nice rhythm with work/gym/therapy and social life.
Tasha S
15 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
15 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
15 Jan 2018 ·

That's great! Very okay is pretty good, if you ask me!

nixiblu .
15 Jan 2018 ·

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Richard E
7d ·

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sonny S
7d ·

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Reba H
6d ·

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Mandy O
6d ·

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Mandy O
6d ·

Great to hear Esther πŸ˜ƒ

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7 Esther B
14 Jan 2018 ·
Nice weekend with gym, friends, cat and books. Date came for dinner. Made him a Dutch meal.
John T
14 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
14 Jan 2018 ·

The dutch make great cheese. Edam and Gouda (especially the kind with chillis in) are beautiful delicately flavoured cheeses.

Lydia R
14 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
14 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
15 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
15 Jan 2018 ·

haha thanks John! I loooove cheese.

John T
15 Jan 2018 ·

I remember having cheese with salt on in a Belgian pub once. Not quite Dutch but just next door!

nixiblu .
15 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
6d ·

*Hugs*

Mandy O
6d ·

*Hugs*

Mandy O
6d ·

Ooooh I looooove cheese to πŸ‘πŸΌ

nixiblu .
5d ·

Did someone say cheese ?????

Esther B
4d ·

Yeaahhh cheese!!! Cheese fondue!!!

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5 Esther B
12 Jan 2018 ·
First week of work and therapy behind me. Must admit I'm pretty tired. A lot to reflect on.
Lex M
12 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
12 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
12 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
12 Jan 2018 ·

It's like a new exercise...the first few days are exhausting, but you'll get in shape for it! Hope it helps you!

Lydia R
12 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

sonny S
12 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
13 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
13 Jan 2018 ·

Look after yourself - and everything is crossed for you re therapy xx

Esther B
13 Jan 2018 ·

Thanks all πŸ’ž 5 more weeks to go

Reba H
13 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
14 Jan 2018 ·

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Mandy O
6d ·

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6 Esther B
11 Jan 2018 ·
yesterday was our second date. we went to an Australian restaurant. nice food and cosy place. bought him a book in return. 2nd day of therapy was long. 4 groupsessions.
Jeff M
11 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
11 Jan 2018 ·

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John T
11 Jan 2018 ·

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* ChloΓ« *
11 Jan 2018 ·

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Silke V
11 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
11 Jan 2018 ·

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Shelley H
12 Jan 2018 ·

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DesBear D
12 Jan 2018 ·

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Margot L
12 Jan 2018 ·

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Reba H
12 Jan 2018 ·

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5 Esther B
10 Jan 2018 ·
Loving the updated MP app; thanks chiefs!! Okay day. Bit tired though.
Jeff M
10 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
10 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
10 Jan 2018 ·

I still need to get used to not being able to access the community and my site with only one click anymore. I'm a creature of habit.

John T
10 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jake G
10 Jan 2018 · CHIEFPANDA

*Hugs*

Jake G
10 Jan 2018 · CHIEFPANDA

Hey Lydia - I know what you mean :-) We'll keep working on that. It's a balance between the single click, and being able to access more things easily. Iterate and improve, iterate and improve :-) Thanks Esther

Lydia R
10 Jan 2018 ·

That's true, Jake. I didn't want to be a complete dick and complain about something like that. I'm always like that with updates at first. Always hate them and then slowly get used to them and forget why I ever complained in the first place.:)

Jake G
10 Jan 2018 · CHIEFPANDA

I hate changes at first too haha

Jeff M
10 Jan 2018 ·

Is there a way to hover your mouse over the option to bring down the drop-down options rather than have to click to bring the drop-down options? I keep hovering my mouse and expecting that...

Jake G
10 Jan 2018 · CHIEFPANDA

Will investigate

DesBear D
10 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
10 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

sonny S
11 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jake G
11 Jan 2018 · CHIEFPANDA

Jeff - experimenting with hover now :-)

Jake G
11 Jan 2018 · CHIEFPANDA

It's not quite right, but we're working through it :-)

* ChloΓ« *
11 Jan 2018 ·

Yeah! Love it!

Lydia R
12 Jan 2018 ·

I see the hovering works! Great job. :)

Jeff M
12 Jan 2018 ·

Hmm...doesn't work for me.

John T
12 Jan 2018 ·

Me neither

Lydia R
12 Jan 2018 ·

Hmm.. what browser are you using? Maybe the update is rolled out in waves? I haven't a clue. :')

John T
12 Jan 2018 ·

I just looked and it should be using jQuery, which is good, because jQuery is great (but I only use it for stupid, over the top effects! :-D).

Lydia R
12 Jan 2018 ·

Are you on mobile? I mean for me it's working in the desktop version (I prefer typing on my laptop).

John T
12 Jan 2018 ·

Maybe, I'm on Firefox at the moment, but if it was using jQuery, it shouldn't matter which browser really. Maybe it was temporarily updated then taken out, but your browser saved that version... or something.

John T
12 Jan 2018 ·

No, I usually am, but it wouldn't matter on mobile because you don't have a mouse curser.

Lydia R
12 Jan 2018 ·

Sounds like... magic! lol I have no clue. Still working here and so far it's a good compromise between the old single-quick and the new everything-in-one version.

John T
12 Jan 2018 ·

Are you on Chrome?

John T
12 Jan 2018 ·

I just checked, it's working in Chrome...

John T
12 Jan 2018 ·

Haha, I was totally wrong about the browser not mattering!

Lydia R
12 Jan 2018 ·

Yup, currently using Chrome!

John T
12 Jan 2018 ·

Working in Safari too

John T
12 Jan 2018 ·

Might too new (or old) version of jQuery. There's lot of people having problems with it with Firefox after doing a quick Google search. Although I'm going to stop talking because I'm probably wrong again!

Jake G
12 Jan 2018 · CHIEFPANDA

We'll look into it

Jeff M
12 Jan 2018 ·

It is working for me on Chrome on my personal computer. Perhaps my work computer blocks the function that does it. Thanks, Jake!

Jake G
13 Jan 2018 · CHIEFPANDA

It's a very simple bit of css πŸ€”

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6 Esther B
08 Jan 2018 ·
Starting my 6 weeks 'diagnostic part-time therapy' tomorrow. ready for it.
Manda P
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
08 Jan 2018 ·

Good luck! I know you'll do great. πŸ’–

Silke V
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
08 Jan 2018 ·

Good luck πŸ€

Jeff M
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
08 Jan 2018 ·

Good luck, Esther. Love your attitude for this. I'm sure this will be good for you!

Richard E
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
08 Jan 2018 ·

Hope it goes well

Reba H
09 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Mandy O
09 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
09 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tuxi A
09 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tuxi A
09 Jan 2018 ·

Good luck! I hope it will be the right thing for you!

DesBear D
09 Jan 2018 ·

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5 Esther B
08 Jan 2018 ·
I don't want to push things but I'm still nervous bout dating en stuff. Even though he said he would like to see me again. I hope I don't make the same mistakes again.
Chloe F
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
08 Jan 2018 ·

We are all wishing you the best, Esther!

Manda P
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
08 Jan 2018 ·

Just take it one day at a time. Enjoy yourself & relax. Rooting for you, sweet Esther! xx

Rosie L
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

sonny S
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
08 Jan 2018 ·

It's exciting and nerve-wracking. But try not to fret, and don't forget that he's probably nervous and anxious too! Sometimes knowing that helps!

DesBear D
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
08 Jan 2018 ·

Thanks all. If i have enough other stuff on my mind it will go better Im sure. Tjanks for your support

Richard E
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
09 Jan 2018 ·

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Mandy O
09 Jan 2018 ·

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6 Esther B
07 Jan 2018 ·
okay weekend. managed to go for a run today and spent time with friends. I really hope to see my date soon.
Rosie L
07 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Janine S
07 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
07 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
07 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tuxi A
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

sonny S
08 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
08 Jan 2018 ·

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Mandy O
09 Jan 2018 ·

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5 Esther B
06 Jan 2018 ·
Had 3 wine last night and at least 5 glasses of water in between but this headache is killing me. Feels like my body can't handle alcohol anymore. I can't stop thinking about date
Janine S
06 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
06 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
06 Jan 2018 ·

It's the season for colds and flu. Maybe it's just a headache caused by a start of a cold or something.

Janine S
06 Jan 2018 ·

I've been getting headaches from a cold recently so it could be that.

DesBear D
07 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
07 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Love 1
07 Jan 2018 ·

Hope your relationship blossoms

Reba H
08 Jan 2018 ·

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8 Esther B
05 Jan 2018 ·
I had a really nice date. Talked about meeting again.
Janine S
05 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jenna B
06 Jan 2018 ·

Yay! ☺️

Niki B
06 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
06 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
06 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
06 Jan 2018 ·

YAY! :D

Jeff M
06 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
06 Jan 2018 ·

Yay! That's great. :)

John T
06 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lex M
06 Jan 2018 ·

☺

Love 1
06 Jan 2018 ·

promising. happy for you

DesBear D
07 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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6 Esther B
04 Jan 2018 ·
These last 5 days I haven't been thinking about dying all the time. I've been okay. Just can't seem to discover what the cause is.
Jake G
04 Jan 2018 · CHIEFPANDA

*Hugs*

Zoe D
04 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
04 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
04 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
04 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
04 Jan 2018 ·

Don't knock it! I'm glad you've had some good days, and - more importantly - that you're recognizing the good days and appreciating them! :)

Love 1
04 Jan 2018 ·

The sun shines through. :)

Reba H
04 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lex M
05 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lex M
05 Jan 2018 ·

I'm sorry

Cindy M
05 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
05 Jan 2018 ·

Glad you're having some good days, Esther, tho I understand wanting to know why, too xx

DesBear D
05 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

sonny S
05 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lex M
06 Jan 2018 ·

I'm not sorry, of course, that you feel positive. It's just last week I misread everything in a negative way.

Tuxi A
07 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Esther B
03 Jan 2018 ·
feel like dating. too bad I never meet someone
sonny S
03 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Janine S
03 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
03 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
04 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
04 Jan 2018 ·

Jij ook de beste wensen voor 2018

Margot L
04 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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6 Esther B
03 Jan 2018 ·
okayish. told colleagues about therapy from next week on. they were so supportive
Silke V
03 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
03 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
03 Jan 2018 ·

That's great to have support!

JET Β°
03 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
03 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
03 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
03 Jan 2018 ·

I'm so glad they support you. We're all with you, dear Esther xx

Christina S
03 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

paul M
03 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

sonny S
03 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
03 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
04 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Love 1
04 Jan 2018 ·

Sounds like you have colleagues you can confide in.

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4 Esther B
01 Jan 2018 ·
for the last 3 years I've been telling myself it will be better from January 1st. turned out to be worse. so again I will tell myself; the only way to go is up
DesBear D
01 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cristina C
01 Jan 2018 · NEW

*Hugs*

Fay C
01 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

H F
01 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
01 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
01 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
01 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
01 Jan 2018 ·

Happy new year Esther! I hope 2018 will bring some joy for all of us here. :)

Janine S
01 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Mary R
02 Jan 2018 · NEW

*Hugs*

Reba H
03 Jan 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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