Hoping for the best!
Hope everything worked out.
Today is S's birthday, wondering if she thinks I said the things I said just to get close to her because I like her. Really hope we continue to be friends and can support each other.
Just read a text my gran sent me, sounds like she is saying her goodbyes. She has said this opp is a win win, all she wants is the pain to go away, if it is sucsessful it goes away, if she dies it goes away. No matter what she will be better.
She will be the only grandparent who has played a huge part in my life. One I don't remember, another died when I was I think 7. The other when I was 16 but only had been a part for the last 2 years of her life, then I have this one like a second mom
Hope that the surgery goes well
on my nerves. I wonder why I keep fighting all the thoughts, I wonder why I think things will get better, I thought that 3 years ago, and things never really got better and now I am back (or even worse) to where I was then, things haven't gotten
better why will they now
Meant I finally got into a way overbooked spin class.
Valentine's and snow. There's hidden blessings
will continue be friends.
Valentine's is pants. But most of the folks spending loads to have fun are actually unhappy.
them as they feel helpless. On top of that they have had two people who have told them that they want to kill them self, and I cant put them through that again, they are to nice to do that to.
Maybe try to speak about a problems that are leading you to feel that way if you want to speak with people who are scared to hear how you feel. You really can't 'solve' itself a feeling of wanting to kill yourself but problems - yes.
All I know is that with solving some problems plus getting the knowledge of my right to live (as everyone has) I have found my calmness about that for myself. The problems can still be there but it's fine.
And one more thing - problem with ***al thoughts(feelings) is that they are kind of tunnel thinking. What I mean; they 'lie' with their judgement and they're blinding. So yeah, they are solvable.
Well said, Ann. Hope things improve, Tim.
Now it is hitting me. Have I messed things up with her,? Can we still be friends? Should I have not told her I like her like? She is amazing and has helped me through a lot, now I might have messed things up with her. Why do I always mess up
I have messed up a decent amount of relationships. Why do I do this to myself? Why is it whenever I think I am making progress I end up back where I started. Is this why I don't have a social life because I will mess it up? Am I bound to be a loner?
I am fighting so many thoughts right now, if it does not fell better by the weekend I dont know what Ill do.
Was not that happy to find that out, but it is a fun project and it gets my mind off things,
Just found out that my gran is having surgery Monday, doc said to her that there is a chance she might die. Her response was 'I win either way' I am glad for her that she is happy with the life she has lived however sad as she is my last grand parent
Hope things go alright
Hope you're feeling better now Tim
The first step is the hardest. You can do it.
Once you've done it there'll be one less thing to fear.
It is true.
Her own son is depressed. Maybe she does not want to see it, and I am not going to tell her yet.